i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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