the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize