You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
