I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
