To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
