we have pet lesbian snakes
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
