I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
