So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
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Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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