Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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