Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
