So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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