I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
