you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
