True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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