your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
