So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
