Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
