I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
