WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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