There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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