stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
