yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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