we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
