Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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