Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
