well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
