im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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