We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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