When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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