We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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