U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I will die if light touches me.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
