so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
