put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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