White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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