Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
