Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
