The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
