my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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