don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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