That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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