The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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