didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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