and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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