she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
