I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
