I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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