it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
