Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better

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  (618): If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is... (301): Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better http://tfl.nu/emnn
  Replies (14) Good night (4018) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?

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  (516): Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites (1-516): Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class? http://tfl.nu/4qhs
  Replies (23) Good night (3317) Bad night (631)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.

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  (443): So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking. http://tfl.nu/jegd
  Replies (7) Good night (2535) Bad night (902)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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  (785): whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick http://tfl.nu/3xlh
  Replies (64) Good night (7843) Bad night (1961)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.

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  (915): I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner. http://tfl.nu/j2to
  Replies (5) Good night (3270) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'

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  (845): Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary' http://tfl.nu/zqo1
  Replies (7) Good night (3034) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH

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  (305): Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH http://tfl.nu/d4s2
  Replies (2) Good night (2348) Bad night (1274)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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  (802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1449) Bad night (1000)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.

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  (920): I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with. http://tfl.nu/59np
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (449)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.

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  (423): The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups. http://tfl.nu/v1g8
  Replies (1) Good night (2612) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.

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  (715): She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird. http://tfl.nu/gla6
  Replies (8) Good night (1462) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.

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  (816): I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs. http://tfl.nu/pv3i
  Replies (4) Good night (1013) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake

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  (908): I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/q1u7
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...

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  (414): Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring... http://tfl.nu/8whu
  Replies (4) Good night (259) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.

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  (717): Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models. http://tfl.nu/suoj
  Replies (0) Good night (232) Bad night (79)

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