I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Everyone says I win the strip club
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
