turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My vagina just clenched in fear
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
