Im at strip club and am horny
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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