I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My pussy is not your playground.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize