I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
