Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
