thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
