I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
