doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
