so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
