I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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