I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
