I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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