Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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