so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
