he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
