i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
