i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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