Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize